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Helmets and lens flares and hammers, oh my! Thor is over-the-top silliness, set in a mythical land of perpetual greenscreen golden sunsets with the most impressive collection of extreme helmets since 1980’s Flash Gordon. The dialogue is staggeringly bad and clich├ęd, so much so that it elicited occasional bursts of laughter. That being said, the middle section of the movie, set on good ol’ Planet Earth, seems to embrace its campiness, and keeps the movie from becoming a spectacular sci-fi dud. Thor and his abs have an improbable romance with Natalie Portman and her mole, which, though my mind tells me is a stupid plot contrivance, actually works to give us something (anything?) to root for in this movie. The Surprisingly Good Acting Award goes to a fellow named Tom Hiddleston, who plays Thor’s much-conflicted brother Loki with more sincerity than this movie deserves. Overall, a tolerable summer escape, but nothing more.

Only worth 3 of my 7 sentences.